philip sherburne

'k, I was actually kidding in my hateration in that last post, but here's something I do hate. I've been spending an inordinate amount of time on eBay in the last few weeks, searching for overpriced early '90s titles on R&S/Apollo, Speedy J classics, bleep 'n bass stuff, and, um, that Middleton remix of Kylie's "Chocolate" that I've been going so ga-ga over (warning: after I get done with a "middle school" techno mix [because it's not quite old enough to be old school] I may soon post a bona fide deep house mix on this site, so run far and run fast, lest your presuppositions about yours truly being the Maven of Micro be forever quashed and kiboshed). And I have come to harbor a deep, unreasonable, and almost murderous loathing for the hucksters that end their listing headlines by writing, "L@@K!"

Dude, a simple "look" wouldn't get me to click on your link if I didn't have any interest in what you were pawning. All caps wouldn't help. But the weird, pictographic, "My 'look' has eyeballs for os!" rendering of the world just fills me with creep and bile. It reminds me of grade-school teachers that would turn a "Good!" grade on a paper into a smiley face, with G and D becoming ears, the Os eyes, and a silly little nose and smiley mouth descending from the thing. That was cutesy, ha. But affixing a weird, overemphatic hieroglyph to your auction listing to attempt to attract my attention? That just makes me want to punch you.

(I am so getting my feedback points docked for this entry.)