philip sherburne

Thanks to the fact that it was invented by geeks in the employment of the military industrial complex, the Internet really has only two uses: the proliferation of porn with sci-fi themes, and the rapid dispersion of wire stories like this one, about a squadron of UFOs spotted and filmed by Mexican Air Force pilots.

Fortunately, I have recently come into evidence of something that should get the cubicle-bound corps of cruller-munching code monkeys really hot and bothered: an Unidentified Flying Donut, hovering over Cologne.

(Officials in the Defense Department of Krispy Kreme could not be reached for comment.)