« This is how we walk on the moon | Main | Miami breach »

Lessons in suckitude

Nothing sucks like sucking in public.

Although, given that perhaps 90% of the crowd cleared the room within my first half-dozen records last night, when I took the decks after incredible sets by Lusine and Matthew Dear, perhaps that no longer counts as "in public"? You certainly could not have called it a quorum.

I blame the braining. Early in the evening, during setup and soundcheck, a monitor hanging from the ceiling failed to yield the right of way when I stood up suddenly, sending me straight to the ground, clutching my head and marveling at the strange new way my teeth seemed to fit together when I closed my mouth. The rest of the night, despite steady application of Red Stripe and Red Bull (not mixed: I wasn't that confused), everything felt... kind of... off. If there are any brain surgeons out there, get in touch, because I'm looking for expert medical witnesses to testify on my behalf that only short-term brain damage could have accounted for the fact that, not four hours later, in mid-set, I mixed out of one record, pulled it off the turntable, and proceeded to hit the power switch on the active turntable, killing the sound then and there.

Like I said, nothing sucks like sucking in public.


Ouch! That sounds like the monitor knocked you right out. I guess I am very prone to knocking my head on something on stage due to my height of 6'5". Hope your head feels better though, one less microhouse dj is no good. We need our shots of music to live ;)

And btw, that article on Villalobos in February's XLR8R is awesome! Keep it up!

It's much better in Barcelona, man. Cheap drinks, audience getting drunk faster, inmediate cheering... You should come here to play often. U know the score!

Philip, I'm feelin this. Last summer I was playing records after a gig, one of the roadies dismantling the equipment on stage unplugged the output from the right-hand deck without me noticing. Needless to say, I was completely humiliated, and once I'd got it back there was nothing I could do right. It happens..

hahaha! i've heard you play some great sets so it's not like it happenbs all the time and i've done this tons of times, once very recently playing dancehall. however, on that ocassion, i hastily span the platter back, put a fucking walloping echo effect on it, waited for it to fade and wents traight back into the same track from the start - people thought it was a *planned* rewind and the day was saved... huzzah!


I just went through the same ordeal a few weeks ago. Put on a 18 min song to run to the john, come out to silence. The record had skipped to the center in my absense (gotta love playing in bars where folks freely mess with the tracking on the turntables)
nothing is more ego-checking than a room of hipsters looking with scorn and questioning at you and you alone....

Something like this happens pretty much every time I 'DJ', it is awful, and the more thought-out the set the more likely it is too. My sympathies!

"The rest of the night, despite steady application of Red Stripe and Red Bull (not mixed: I wasn't that confused), everything felt... kind of... off."

Ok, we got to relate here. I was Djing with Spooky two weeks ago, here in Montreal. I play an hour of drone and experimental stuff on 4 decks. Then two other DJs come on, play hip-hop, I go down all this Red Bull and vodka. Dj Spooky plays, does a nice set, one of his better sets, really freestyle, all over the map, a good selection of dub, not so much jungle, etc. So -- I come on after to get into the groove. I feel sparkling from the Red Bull / vodka combo, and the fingers and ears are all ON. But somehow the feedback effect with the audience is not jiving. Now already people are leaving, the crowd wasn't really dancing anyway, but that's Montreal .. So I think "aha! they want some show" & cut and scratch Mathew Dear and Logistic Records and Ricardo Villalobos and some Perlon, and within 5 records, very quick cutting, trying to show some things, get my head around the floor .. blam. Emptied. It was too bad, as then I shifted into Monolake and Kit Clayton and the remaining SAT Staff ran around yelling digging it.

But then they yelled even more when they put the Latin House CD on after I decided to wrap.

Sonic kung-fu to the stomach! YEOEOEOWww. .

you should definitely get checked out by a doctor. it's not worth the risk with head injuries.

You know how in shop class they tell you not to where loose clothing around the machinery? I like it when I catch the little arm on the cartridge with my cuff while reaching across the active turntable. Not only does the music stop but everyone turns to see me with another vodka tonic in my hand. Hooray!

Post a comment

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)