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54-40 is bunk

From an email that just arrived from Subvert:

"Now that I've become American, I'm thinking of starting a new political movement. Canadians for America. Or you could consider us a new ethnic group: the Canadian-Americans. The US encourages all immigrants to bring their culture with them. There's over a million of us in California alone. We have so much to share with this country. Here's some ideas for our platform to help make America just a little more Canadian:

welfare to work
lock box
compassionate conservative
no blood for oil
education budget split equally per student without regard to location
bring the "u" back to favourite and neighbour
classes in how to patiently stand in line integrated with beer appreciation
hockey sticks for handguns program
taxes on alcohol and tobacco used for wacky stuff, like health insurance for everyone
military vouchers that allow citizens more control over where they direct their hard earned military dollars
actually invite the world to compete in the World Series
Monty Python added to high school curriculum
Coffee Crisps nationally available
and finally:
an end to litter as we know it"

I'm not sure I can get behind bringing back the "u" in "colo(u)r," but I like this Canadian-American thing. My dad's Canadian. Growing up, I had a bizarre fascination with Canada, and believed myself, in some strange sense, to be a Canadian-American. (This was long before the rise of identity politics, mind you.) I studied Canadian literature in college. And everyone knows I love the Canadian techno. So I'm all for it - sign me up! One question: does this mean I can claim asylum when Schwarzenegger teams up with the Bushies to declare California a police state? I am, after all, already an endangered species.

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