philip sherburne

A modest proposal

Ok, and finally, since I'm still venting, I might as well get off my chest a proposal I've been thinking about for a while. It wouldn't do anything to help with flood planning, global warming, fuel conservation, but it would at least assure adquate troop numbers in the National Guard when, at times like these, they're actually needed on the domestic front:

Bring back the draft.

And no, I'm not kidding. Bring back conscription. Enough of these all-volunteer armies that draw disproportionately on the poor, undereducated, and unemployed. But this time, let's do it with a twist.

We'll use a lottery again, same way we did back in Vietnam. Only this time, lottery number #1 (that is, the first person to get called up) will go to the son(s)/daughter(s) of the sitting President who happen to be of draftable age. After that, the offspring of the Vice President. Then the Speaker of the House, and from there on down through the members of both houses of Congress. After that, we'll proceed in descending order through the children of the CEOs of the Fortune 500. (This may sound vindictive, but whose economic interests, ultimately, are served by chosen wars? That's right, theirs. And since they seem to pay no taxes any more, let them shoulder the personnel burden while we taxpayers finance the rest.) After that, well, we'll have to figure out the most economically feasible way to flesh out the rolls, but as long as we proceed in descending order through the wealthiest ranks of society, we'll be assured of rectifying past inequalities in both conscripted and all-volunteer militaries. (Plus, hey, we'll have a more educated military too! Though, unfortunately, there'll be a lot of Ritalin and cocaine addicts, but every army has its bad apples.)

And this time, there will be no deferments, no loopholes, no -- in the words of Cheney himself -- "other priorities."

Seriously. Bring back the motherfucking draft, but this time do it right. If nothing else, it'll make governments a hell of a lot more cautious when deciding to invade a foreign nation.

Posted by philip at September 2, 2005 09:18 AM